I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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