well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
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Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
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The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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