she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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