someone threw a dead crab at me
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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