Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
