I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize