i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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