i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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