Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
