Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
