you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
