After last night, I could never be a politician.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
