Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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