Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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