The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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