Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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