My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
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We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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