my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
