You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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