We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
A bitchslap is in order.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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