I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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