Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
