And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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