return my video game
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
