...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize