if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
