i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize