i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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