I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Naked. naked and bneed help.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
