READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
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