she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
