You can't special order awesome
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
