i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
