I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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