im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
