i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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