my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
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I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
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I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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