The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
