I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
