My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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