I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My feet surprised me
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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