How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I have demons in me.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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