My nipple is on Facebook.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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