I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
