he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
