You made me cry and you don't even care
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
