if i died would you start the facebook group?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
