I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
