Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize