Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
