3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize