Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
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I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
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gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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