that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
