thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
plz talk dirty to me
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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