I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Randomize
