people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
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Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
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Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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