saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
They should really pass out barf bags in church
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
