you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
