I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.