if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
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in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
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I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.