Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.