I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
