I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked